I just had this feeling come over me.
The feeling of God's arms wrapping around me securely. His head on my shoulder. The sheer power of His endless love as He whispers in my ear, "I've got you, Chanelle. Everything will be okay - I'm taking care of it. I love you."
He's in this room with me. I feel Him, I absolutely know. There are very few things that I can ever be certain of in this life, and there is nothing I am more sure of in this moment than the presence of the Lord, reassuring me.
And how can I not smile widely? The foundations of a life I used to know are forever crumbling into something so perverted that it's unrecognizable. Things are getting more frantic now - I'm living week by week now. There's $162 in my bank account and nothing else is coming in. My meal plans running out, my jeans are ripping to shreds. Hopes of my childhood have shattered - the family I wished to maintain officially broken, and every single things lies completely out of my control. By the end of May, I'll be in the midst of a life completely different than one I've ever thought I'd know.
But why worry? "Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouses nor barn; and God feeds them. And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?"
My God will provide for me, this I know. And it's hard to know. I was on the cusp of a legitimate panic attack last night, pacing my room as the distress and hopeless threatened to overcome me. But then tonight I sit here, and I'm the farthest away from that, because it has been confirmed that God is not going anywhere. He will remain by my side.
He is my only certain in life. And I'm absolutely fine with that. I don't know where my next meals are coming from, but I know they're coming. I don't know where I'm going to be living coming this summer, but I know I'll be living somewhere. And how $162 is going to stretch at least three weeks, I have no idea, but I do know it's going to stretch. That's the kind of confidence I have with my God.
So it seems kind of silly to worry. It seems very silly to have these problems take such a high stock in my life. Because how can anything truly be bad when I can feel the presence of the Lord right here next to me? It is the most glorious, reassuring, beautiful feeling, and in the face of that kind of perfection, everything else kind of just fizzles away.
Hallelujah!
The feeling of God's arms wrapping around me securely. His head on my shoulder. The sheer power of His endless love as He whispers in my ear, "I've got you, Chanelle. Everything will be okay - I'm taking care of it. I love you."
He's in this room with me. I feel Him, I absolutely know. There are very few things that I can ever be certain of in this life, and there is nothing I am more sure of in this moment than the presence of the Lord, reassuring me.
And how can I not smile widely? The foundations of a life I used to know are forever crumbling into something so perverted that it's unrecognizable. Things are getting more frantic now - I'm living week by week now. There's $162 in my bank account and nothing else is coming in. My meal plans running out, my jeans are ripping to shreds. Hopes of my childhood have shattered - the family I wished to maintain officially broken, and every single things lies completely out of my control. By the end of May, I'll be in the midst of a life completely different than one I've ever thought I'd know.
But why worry? "Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouses nor barn; and God feeds them. And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?"
My God will provide for me, this I know. And it's hard to know. I was on the cusp of a legitimate panic attack last night, pacing my room as the distress and hopeless threatened to overcome me. But then tonight I sit here, and I'm the farthest away from that, because it has been confirmed that God is not going anywhere. He will remain by my side.
He is my only certain in life. And I'm absolutely fine with that. I don't know where my next meals are coming from, but I know they're coming. I don't know where I'm going to be living coming this summer, but I know I'll be living somewhere. And how $162 is going to stretch at least three weeks, I have no idea, but I do know it's going to stretch. That's the kind of confidence I have with my God.
So it seems kind of silly to worry. It seems very silly to have these problems take such a high stock in my life. Because how can anything truly be bad when I can feel the presence of the Lord right here next to me? It is the most glorious, reassuring, beautiful feeling, and in the face of that kind of perfection, everything else kind of just fizzles away.
Hallelujah!
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